Remembering My Father On His Birthday

My father would be celebrating his 88th birthday today (May 18, 2009) if he were still alive. Rex Gupton passed from this life on January 27, 2001, four months shy of his 80th birthday. The pain of losing Daddy has subsided a bit over the past eight years, but will never, ever totally go away. I think of my father often, look and act more and more like him with each passing year, and find myself taking on a bit of that Rex Gupton cynical outlook of so many aspects of life. That last trait is one of Daddy's characteristics (more from his later years than when he was a younger man) that I never thought I would inherit, but obviously have.

I guess you were right, Daddy, about a lot of things you and I used to butt heads over. Not all of them, Pops, but a few topics you were so hard-headed about when getting on to me and Cody and Kelli when all of your children were younger. I really miss those conversations we used to have. I greatly appreciated the love and moral support you threw in my direction, usually when I needed it most. I thank you for taking such good care of our mother and my siblings and me. You were the best father a kid could possibly have.

Since you left us eight years ago, I have had so many people come to me in my everyday life and tell me how important you were to them. Relatives and friends of yours have reminded me on occasion what a fun individual you were to be around, how funny you were, how caring and supportive you could be to them, and yes, how much they miss you too!

The majority of your generation is gone now. Phyllis Gupton Weems is one of your few cousins still alive today to remind me what a great guy you were. She grew up with you, as your first cousin and next door neighbor. I treasure the time Phyllis and I spend together, and she and her husband Jack talk about you and my mother from times long ago, many years before I was born. I am down to one uncle (Howard Giesler, my mother's brother) and one aunt (Bette Gupton, S.D.'s widow) surviving from my parents' brothers and sisters and spouses.

Daddy used to tell me, "I used to go to the family reunions to see all of the old folks. Now I am the old folks." We laughed about that years ago, when family reunions still happened every now and then. Today large-scale family reunions are basically a thing of the past. Now it is up to my own generation of Guptons to plan a reunion and do what is necessary to gather all of our family members together in one place so that we can enjoy each other's company for a day or so. I hope that one day soon we do all get together for a special occasion other than a funeral, which sad to say, is where I see most of my cousins. Daddy loved his family, both sides of it. The Meadows side and the Gupton side. I have made an effort in recent history to try to learn more about my family's history. I am hopeful that other members of my extended family, especially my siblings and cousins, will follow suit and do a little research into their family's roots.

Daddy told me that he was born (on May 18, 1921) at home in West Columbia. All of his siblings were also born at home, according to my father who informed me that midwives would come to the home and assist mothers with their deliveries when their children were born in West Columbia in a time before there were hospitals in the area. My father was the fourth child born to Eula and Buff Gupton. His birth followed that of a brother who died shortly after being born. Not counting that child who died, Rex Gupton ended up being the middle child of five in the Samuel Morris Gupton family. Thurman Morris Gupton, born November 11, 1911, was the first child born to the family, followed by his sister, Ruby Nell, then my father Rex (who was not given a middle name), Marvin Aubrey and Samuel Dock, the youngest of the family's children. Marvin Aubrey Gupton, born on Christmas Eve in 1922, was called "Hank" and Samuel Dock Gupton, born May 23, 1925, was called S.D. or "Bones" by his close friends.

Uncle Hank told me once that Dean Laughlin gave him his nickname "Hank" and also was the first to call my father "Dog." I don't know if that is true or not but I do know that both labels stuck on the Gupton brothers. Because Hank and Dog were the nicknames they took to their graves.

Among the stories Daddy loved to tell us kids about his own childhood were leaving his baby brother S.D. behind in a neighbor's watermelon patch when the owner of the watermelons saw the Gupton brothers stealing melons and fired his rifle or shotgun up in the air to scare them off. Daddy said that he and Hank took off like a rocket when the rifle blast scared them. S.D., who was according to my father "just a little boy," just squatted in the watermelon patch and bawled his eyes out. I assume Hank and Rex eventually went back and picked up their baby brother. Another popular childhood story my father told us frequently was when his mother wanted to punish Hank (who my grandmother always referred to as Aubrey) for something he had done but was unable to catch him. Eula gave my father the job of capturing his younger brother so that she could "take a switch" to his behind. Daddy said that Hank was faster than him and he could never catch him, so he waited for an opportune time. Daddy said that he was able to push Hank into his mother's closet and Daddy held the door shut while yelling for his mother to come quick because he had finally captured the elusive younger brother. As the story goes, when Eula opened the door to deliver the punishment to Hank he darted between her legs and scampered out the door, leaving Eula sprawling on the floor and Rex unable to hang on to Hank.

I used to love when the Gupton brothers (Thurman, S.D., Hank and my father) and their sister Ruby would get together during my lifetime and swap old stories of their mutual upbringings in their parents' West Columbia home. I wish I had owned a videocamera back in those days to capture those moments for posterity. It would truly be amazing for my sister and brother and I, as well as all of our cousins, to be able to sit down today and watch those home movies that do not exist. All I have today are my Aunt Ruby's silent color home movies that she and her husband, Kirby Fontenot, filmed in the late 1950s and early 1960s. Ruby and Kirby were my godparents when I was a child, and I inherited their home movies when the two of them passed away. I have put those old movies on videotapes and keep them locked away so that nothing happens to them.

My father loved sports as a teenager and was always active year round when he was a kid. Following his graduation from West Columbia High School, where he was voted "Most Popular" senior boy by his graduating class, Rex Gupton played college football at Austin College in Sherman, Texas, and East Texas Baptist University in Marshall, Texas. He was a guard in the offensive line during his college football career. Following his service to his country during World War II, Daddy returned to playing college football when he was 27 years old. He closed out his gridiron days on the college level when he played guard for Texas Lutheran University in Seguin, Texas.

Daddy never earned a bachelors degree, although he attended three different colleges. His mother used to tell us that, following the conclusion of the fall football season, she would start looking down the road from her home and it wouldn't be long before she would see my father walking with his possessions. Eula joked that Daddy just went to college to play football and would hitchhike back to West Columbia when his team had played their final game.

My father told me that he was living in California when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. He was living with his Aunt Minnie and Uncle Pete Hagan on the west coast at the time, working with his cousin Max Hagan. Daddy said they were in a movie theater when the projectionist stopped the movie and someone walked in front of the audience and told them that the United States was at war. He told me often that he hitchhiked home from California so that he could volunteer for the war effort along with the rest of his brothers. Oddly enough, after Daddy joined the Navy they sent him to San Diego, California, for his basic training. Pictured above are photos of my father Rex with his three brothers later in his life, with his wife Verna, shots from his Navy days, one with his grandson and namesake (my brother Cody's son with his wife Andrea, Rex Layne Gupton) taken at the nursing home where Daddy spent his final days, and a photo with me taken in his living room.

Rex worked for Marathon Oil Company (formerly the Ohio Oil Company) for more than 35 years and owned Gupton Feed and Ranch Supply in West Columbia with my mother for more than 26 years. We were never wealthy or well off by any sense of the word, but my siblings and I rarely went without anything we wanted or needed. Both of our parents were very loving towards their kids and definitely "spoiled" us more than they should have. We had wonderful grandparents and aunts and uncles who all contributed to giving each of us a surplus of fond memories of growing up Gupton in West Columbia, Texas.

What more could a kid ask for? I do feel blessed for all of those great memories. Today, at 52, I reflect on a life that owes a great debt to my parents for the foundation that they helped establish for me and my brother Cody and sister Kelli. And I should, and hopefully will, take the time and make the effort to express to each of my cousins how truly important they were to me when I was a child and teenager and young adult. Today, in midlife, so many of my loved ones who were there for me when I needed them when I was much younger have passed away. But each of them, from my two grandmothers (Eula Gupton and Pauline Giesler) to every aunt and uncle and cousin that I have lost, meant the world to me. At the top of that list of people I am most grateful to who are no longer around to thank in person, stand my mother and father.

Happy Birthday Daddy! I still love you with all my heart and miss you so very, very much. You were the greatest!