Unforgettable, That's What You Remain

She was born February 8, 1926, outside the borders of the nation where she would spend her 70 years of living. And man, how she DID live!

Today, May 5, 2009, marks the thirteenth anniversary of her death. She was a tough old broad, taking on most adversaries with an inner strength I only inherited a small fraction of. But she could not whip the pancreatic cancer that closed the curtain on her life far too soon for those of us who loved her dearly. She was "Mama" to me, my brother Cody and sister Kelli. She was a doting, loyal spouse to our father Rex Gupton from 1949 until 1996. She was born in Pincher Creek in Alberta, Canada, to Leo and Pauline Giesler. As the saying goes, she may not have been born in Texas but she got to the Lone Star State as quickly as she could, having grown up for most of her young life in East Columbia. Her sister Yvonne and brother Hob called her Donnie. So did her nephews, the four sons of Jack and Yvonne Broadway. Her "adopted" granddaughters Brandi and Mandi Gloor pinned the nickname "Berndi" on her when they were little girls living in my parents' home with their parents, John "Stormy" and Sherry Gloor, back in the 1970s.

The "Berndi" tag stuck like glue, and all of her grandchildren carried on the tradition of calling their beloved grandmother "Berndi." Today, as I reflect on the water that has passed under the bridge since that excruciating, painful Cinco de Mayo in 1996 when I had to kiss the mother I loved with all of my heart goodbye for the final time, I can't help but regret the multitude of family milestones that have occurred over the past 13 years during my mother's absence from our lives. She truly adored all of her grandkids. For those younger members of our family who today find their grandmother merely a faint memory, I must stress to each of you that if she were here today Berndi would surely be your biggest supporter and greatest fan.

So much has happened, from high school graduations of Dustin, Brian, Bret, Blake and Rex, the recent marriage of Amanda (who is expecting Berndi and Rex's first great-grandchild in the near future), and sitting in the stands at local sporting events to watch Natalie follow in her mother Kelli's footsteps as a Roughnecks cheerleader, Dustin ride those nasty bulls and buckin' broncs like his father David and Uncle Cody did before him, and witness the countless sporting events her grandsons participated in over the years. Tommy, her youngest grandson, is currently the starting catcher for the Roughnecks varsity baseball team and plays the sport year around on select baseball teams. Bret and Blake were varsity baseball players at Columbia High before Tommy. Brian excelled at the varsity level in basketball and football and track, setting the bar at the highest rungs for his younger brothers to attempt to equal. Bret, Blake and Rex all were varsity football players for the Roughnecks under head coach Brian Lane. My mother missed out seeing my son Bret participate in choir concerts that my wife's mother drew great pleasure from witnessing. And my family was bursting at the seams with pride when our "baby boy" Blake qualified for the regional track meet his senior year in the high jump competition.

Yes, Mama did not get to live long enough to experience so much in the lives of my siblings and myself and our respective spouses. But she has always been there with me in my heart in everything I have achieved, experienced, witnessed and yes, even had to suffer through, such as the overwhelming sadness that accompanies the passing of my relatives and close friends. Even thirteen years later, rarely a day passes without my mother dropping by for a visit in my thoughts. My sister and I embraced next to our father's bed at a local nursing home in late January of 2001 when he passed from this life, ending his heartbreaking battle with Alzheimer's disease that had actually taken him from us long before he actually died. My Daddy also remains with me and it amazes me how many times each and every day that the old coot returns in my thoughts and dreams. The loss of our Mom in 1996 and our Dad in 2001 was the hardest experiences this old boy was forced to get through. I think I can safely say that my brother and sister would agree with this statement. But their deaths, five years apart, have not been in vain. Our mutual sense of extreme loss has acted as the glue that has kept this branch of the Gupton/Giesler family strong as we all await what tomorrow brings us.

And it is tomorrow, that cloudy uncertainty of what awaits each of the descendants of Rex and Verna Gupton, that keeps me lunging for that unreachable star, hovering above the current makeup of my blood family and extended family with a sense of wonderment and sheer amazement of how life can still surprise me in oh, so many ways. Later this month my Mom's youngest granddaughter, Natalie Renee Kuban, will graduate near the top of her class academically from Columbia High School. College beckons my niece with an impressive scholarship to Texas A&M University. Her younger brother Tommy Kuban will return to Columbia High for two more years, where he has also been a constant resident on the local high school's honor roll.

Along with the arrival of Amanda's baby in the near future, my son Brian will marry his longtime girlfriend Tiffanie Hatley in the fall in West Columbia. Mama was around during Brian's heyday when he was leading the local Little League in home runs and shining on the soccer fields and basketball courts as a preteen. But, oh has she missed so very much by not getting to see Brian, Bret and Blake doing all the big things as well as so many little things along the way that has given so much pleasure to their Mom and Dad. The same goes for Cody's and Kelli's kids.

I know that my wife Peggy and I will be struggling to keep the tears of love and pride from flowing on October 17th when our "little boy" Briano says his I do's and kisses his lovely bride. When he lifts the veil and plants a big juicy one on Tiffanie, Brian will be lifting our hopes for a brighter tomorrow in our own lives as well. The future holds so much in store for the Guptons of West Columbia, Texas. And I can't wait to experience each and every milestone in our lives as they unfold before us. Mama and Daddy, I wish you were both here to experience it all with us!